Consumer Report

As I was diligently making my way through a few of our hundred (+) channels the other night (which is always an exciting event for me seeing as how this is the first time I’ve had more than three channels since I was born), I was delightfully astonished by the idea that people will try to sell anything. Seriously. I mean, I run across internet advertisements for random crap all the time, but this is television. We’re talking real life people (b/c we all know whatever happens on television IS real). Not only is it real, but it’s streaming into the comfort of my home.

Actually, I find the most humor in the idea that people actually buy this crap…and that my bank account is now $19.99 less due to a must-have item I happened to run across myself. Kidding, kidding…c’mon now, I do have some sort of self-control. Well, except for that one time the telemarketer persuaded me to buy a year subscription to some magazine that I had never even heard of, but that’s another story.

I just can’t see spending my money on an apple slicer when my knife seems to work just fine. Same goes for some of that other stuff too. Ever heard of a lap mug? Let me help:

Oh yeah, that’s exactly what I want in my lap…a scalding cup of coffee.

“Look, no hands”... I’m thinking not so much.

Let’s don’t forget what happens when you are half asleep (as I usually am when I go for a steaming cup of coffee) and you forget that your normal, flat-bottomed, dependable mug has now turned into an awkwardly large bullet-shaped thing with a handle. What do you accidentally do with it? Yep, you set it on the coffee table (which was conveniently named in the first place for accommodating your coffee-mug-holding needs). Then what happens? I can’t foresee anyone blessed with the natural talent of balancing THAT thing on the coffee table. So truthfully, I see this as a hazard you just purchased for $16.99…unless you order now, in which you can get three [hazards] for the price of one.

What about the chocolate bar magnets?

I have a toddler that has a nose like a hound when it comes to chocolate. She can spot candy from a mile away. The last thing I need is to walk in the house and see the few magnetic collectibles we own stuck to Ellie’s abdomen just because she thought the chocolate magnet looked appetizing…”Look mommy, it sticks to me” is not something I personally want to deal with.

Should I really even start with the sea monkeys? Anything that can be revived years later from dormant encysted eggs has no place in my house. That’s just creepy if you ask me.

I have to admit I did find mild interest in the alarm clock with wheels.

Someone did once mention that if I put my radio alarm on the Southern Baptist channel, I’d jump out of bed to turn it off in the morning. I don’t particularly like being yelled at during a sermon; even more true at 4:45 in the morning. I can see it now… chasing an alarm clock with wheels through the house at the crack of dawn. By crack I’m referring to the fact that’s what the neighbors are going to think I’m on, running around the house that early. I guess it could also be mistaken for some sort of domestic dispute…what with all the screamin’, yellin’, fallin’ over stuff and such. I started to rethink the interest in the alarm clock after running that scenario through my head a couple times.

Oh, and my favorite of all useless, wasteful ways to spend that extra dollar that’s burning a hole in each of your little consumer pockets: the Obama Chia Pet.

“Special Edition Chia Obama” it says. I don’t know about you, but after seeing that I felt compelled to stand, place my hand over my heart in appreciation and sing, “Cha Cha Cha Chia.”
Somewhere in the advertisement hypnosis state I was in I broke free in laughter. Life doesn’t get much better than that. They try and sucker you in with the, “In honoring our 44th US president” nonsense. I have nothing but respect for anyone that makes it into office; I even like plants as much as the next person, but a chia pet? Sorry, but if we’re headed down that road…when I am president all I want is for somebody to put my name on that huge portable pig billboard that sits out in front of that BBQ joint…bet cha that won’t cost you $19.99.

It's Electric....

Growing up, I was (for lack of a better word) obsessed with horses. Seriously, every afternoon and every weekend from the time I turned eight, I was at the barn riding or caring for my horses. I loved it. Plus, I had several friends that had horses too, so we would all ride together and just have a good ol' time.

There was a period of about a year or so that we kept the horses at our house. I should probably give some background info on where I live. Our house is on the side of a mountain. That's right, not a place for horses, but it just happened to be that there was an adequate amount of space behind our house that my dad cleared and fenced for the horses. It really worked out great having them right there. We would ride down to the river and spend the day swimming or fishing...ahhhh, good times.

So anyway, back to the story. Dad chose to fence this area with an electric fence. Good thinking, less time and money spent fixing this area up when the truth of the matter was we weren't keeping them there forever. He did a bangin' job on the fence work I might add. Dad's so great, fixing this up for me so the horses could be close by. Definitely a Father of the Year award recipient!! Though, I'm thinking he gave me a little more credit than was due. I'm guessing he assumed I had learned my lessons with electric fences due to previous adolescent games at the barn.

Have you ever touched an electric fence before? Sure, as kids, we would always dare some idiot (usually me at any given point) to grab the fence for ten seconds and see how many shocks you could take....if you're interested in a good laugh, that's the way to go! We always shared a laugh or two at someone else's expense.

Time to throw in that side note: no one individual should have more than one bad experience with an electric fence of any sort, unless you happen to work for a power company.

Electric fences are funny things. They don't give a constant shock of electricity, just a shock every second or so (at least the ones I've come into contact with work that way) like.....bzzzt.....bzzzt.....bzzzt...and so on.

So there I am, alone with just the company of my two horses. I'm sure they were pretty pissed at me, taking them from the nice fully green pasture and sticking them in a space a third of the size with a tenth of the grass...I would have been pissed. They showed no ill will towards me, they trotted right up to greet me just as they always did. So I did what I normally do, went to crawl under the fence so that I could jump on the back of one of them and ride around for a bit.

Something that morning gave Evelyn the bright idea to pull her hair back with a metal clip on the top of her head. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I'm a genius. I bend down to crawl under the fence and the clip meets the electric wire. BZZZZT....and I'm down for the count. There aren't many things like being electrocuted (with roughly 600-1000 Volts) from the very top of you head to the ends of your toes.

As I sat paralyzed for a few seconds on the ground, I'm sure I had the most dumbfounded look on my face. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what had happened. First I was standing, then I was crawling, then I was on my back looking up at the sky...and somewhere along the line I was wondering if I could still even move my fingers and toes. Seeing as how this wasn't my first experience with the electric fence, you would think I would have recognized the signs of a good shock. I didn't though, I was so confused.

So I resided on the ground for a good five minutes...ummm...let's just say gathering my thoughts. I can remember looking over to the horses and seeing a distinct look of satisfaction upon their faces. Something along the lines of, "Hah, now you know how it feels! Idiot!"

October

This is really random, but as the new month rolls in I thought I'd take the time to evaluate how I'm beginning this October:

• Single (which is a great thing)
• Still a mother (which is an even better thing)
• A student (which is getting better)
• A friend (which is teaching me just how much fun I can have while being all of the above)

Oh, and a patient...which is teaching my wallet more of a lesson than anyone.

So, as a preventative care measure, I thought I would go to the doctor for a check-up after those several fainting episodes I experienced the last two weeks...I'm such a hypochondriac, gah!! That's how I feel though, going to the doctor when I'm not even sick. Mom says, "Better safe than sorry."

Anywho, I have a very thorough doctor. You know, one of those that if something is wrong with you she's gonna find it; one that even if you don't feel like anything is wrong she's still probably going to find something after she finishes the million tests.

Seriously, I went home yesterday poked, scanned, stuck, rubbed, monitored and lectured (not in any particular order). It appears the symptoms, however mild they may be, caused a little bit of a ruckus. Personally, I think I'm just one of those girls...you know, passes out occasionally and maybe a little numbing of the hands (the perfect date material). ha

So, now I'm on a heart monitor for a few weeks in addition to several other tests coming up. Can we say lab rat? I'm thinking this is going to be a lot of fuss for tests that a going to come back negative. I should probably throw in that the preventative care idea was implanted into my thought process solely by my mother. Who knows though, maybe I'll thank her later.

For those of you who haven't ever been on an event monitor, let me just tell you about this thing. It's a beeper (haven't heard that one in a while have you?) with three wires that attach to your chest. One wire on the right side of my chest and one on either side of my rib cage under my arms. Yes, it looks completely normal (awkward cough). I'm only the one person that still looks like they carry a pager on their hip (for those of you that are still doing that...it's not cool). Wait, I take that back (not the "cool" comment, but the pager on hip thing). I guess there are some healthcare professionals somewhere that still need a pager, but I'm sure even their hip accessories aren't the size of an 8-track. The first thing I said when I saw it was, "You want me to do what with that? Wear it? Are you serious?"

I know, I'm shallow right? Good health is much more important that appearance. Yeah, right! I should have just strapped an old computer monitor to my back for a few weeks. Then at least people wouldn't be like, "Hey Ev, what's that? A pager?" Instead, they would be like, "Hey Ev, I love the monitor! How long do you have to lug that bad boy around?" See, much better!

Nah, I'm just full of it today. The monitor really isn't that bad...hardly noticeable actually (to anyone else that is). Me, I'm just learning to deal with all the wires. No biggy though, just a temporary annoyance.

Well, October is lookin' good thus far!!! Some fun things planned: Trick-or-Treating with Ellie on Halloween night and several parties for myself on the weekends around the big occasion. Love me some costume shopping! It's always an interesting experience, so I'm sure I'll be posting about that soon enough.

Nail Horror

I feel I should start by stating the obvious: Women love gettin' their nails done. Yep, it's just one of those body maintenance things that is (1) relaxing and (2) enjoyable both during and after they're done. In most cases anyway....

Mom and I decided to indulge in a little "me" time yesterday and get our manicures and pedicures together. Mom ended up having to work later than planned, so we ventured to a new nail salon closer to her office. For those of you avid nail maintenance individuals such as myself, you know how timid you can be about testing out a new place...it can be dangerous.

So there we are comfortably relaxing in our nice massage chairs while our feet start soaking...ahhhhh! Then the nail technician approaches and asks, "what color you like?" As I happily reply with a french pedicure, she smiles and begins the hour-long process. Under normal circumstances you can sit back and relax, enjoy the massage and practically fall asleep. Chin (my nail lady) has a misconception about American women I think. It seems she believes pain is a plus during this experience.

My feet hate me right now! They look pretty, sure, but every step after that was a reminder of our ghastly experience. Chin, with her nail tool that strangely resembled a metal toothpick, went to town on my poor toes. After the first one I thought, "Ok, man-up Evelyn! You can do this." Once she finished my right foot I was hesitant to even bring the left out of the water. Seriously, she grabs my leg and says, "You put foot here!" Timidly, I did as I was told. Hey, I was frightened of what might happen if I didn't...she was holding a weapon you know.

I made it through the pick-of-death and on to the scrubber. Those feet scrubbers aren't normally the most enjoyable things, but the problem I usually face (it tickling me to death) was far from the havoc I went through this time. Chin took every bit of anger out on my innocent appendage. I'm talking I have never seen a 90lb Asian woman work a scrubber in such a manner. My relaxing massage turned into pure torture as my body was taut and beginning to sweat (a normal response to pain).

With my fingers clinched around the edge of the armrests and my back as straight as a board, I glanced over to see if my mother was enjoying her pedicure more so than I. I don't think I can even explain the look on her face. Eyes pinched close, legs drawn, and a simple phrase murmured in my direction, "This doesn't feel good." About that time, her nail technician looks up at her and says, "Ok, give me foot. I not hurt you."

Mom relaxes and allows her to continue. Overall, mom was pleased with the remainder of her visit. Her nail tech must have redeemed herself somehow, because Chin felt no need to ease-up on my feet. So I did what any woman in my position would do, I gave one swift kick (ka-tow!!) and back flies the little lady! :) Kidding of course, I sat there like a push-over would and let her mutilate my precious toes.

She finished the pedicure and on to the hands. I questioned whether or not I should request another technician, but at this point I felt that might be rude (and hey, my feet were killing me...why not add my hands to it?). She sat me down at a nail cubicle and really did a great job on my nails. Maybe feet just aren't her thing; I can understand that.

Then the strangest thing happened. Apparently this nail salon concludes your visit with (what most would normally call) a shoulder/back massage. Chin, with her tiny hands and surprisingly thrustful punches, proceeded to...well...I guess massage my back. Have you ever see WCW? Yeah, wrestling. You know, where they jump on the guy laying on the ground, landing with their elbow on the guys stomach....it was kind of like that, but my back.

After three good whiplashes, I held my hand up and said, "Ok, ok, that's good...thank you." Chin, with her hair falling in her face from the crazy energy it must have taken to do whatever it was she did, brushed her hair back and smiled with a, "Tank you! You come back!"

Yes, I paid (and even left a tip) for that whole thing. I can still see her standing at the door of the salon as I'm trying to run (more like limp) to my car. She's still just a wavin'.

**Note to self: Stick with the salons you know!

A Conscious Effort

The saga continues! A short break in the action due to a minor syncope episode I had last Monday, but I'm back now! Apparently, dehydration can do some rather interesting things to the human body. You see, I've never really been an avid water drinker. I think about it a good bit, but it turns out that isn't quite enough to maintain homeostasis....who knew? Needless to say, my water drinking negligence came back to haunt me last week.

I woke up last Monday, later than usual, feeling surprisingly well considering the weekend I had. So, I headed downstairs for some coffee and morning convo with the fam. As I'm chatting it up with my mom I start feeling a bit woozy...never a good way to start the week off. So, rather than coffee (I saw no need in jump-starting my heart at that point) I decided to head back upstairs for my shower.

As I reach the top of the staircase my legs get weak and my mouth starts to water. You know the feeling, that oh-crap-I'm-about-to-be-sick-right-here feeling. Worst feeling ever! So I think to myself, "Ok, just make it to your bed and you can sit down and catch your breath." I make it through the door just far enough to flip on the light, then I collapse right there on my bedroom floor. Not kidding. The next thing I know I'm waking up to my mom and sister standing over me going, "Oh my gosh! What happened! Your lip is bleeding! Are you ok?!" Given their panic state, the hard surface, my cold sweats and a bustin' head, I kinda figured out what happened (I should have been a detective). The only thing I could think to do at this point, amongst my confusion, was assume the fetal position.

As I began to regain somewhat of an alert cognitive state, I realized they were talking to me. The only response I could think to give was, "Yeah, I'm good...I just thought I'd chill down here for a while." What a weird morning. Anyway, I took a few minutes to get it together and then resumed my normal getting ready ritual before heading into work. I humbly admit that I still have some war wounds that I'm recovering from: a mild case of carpet burn on my chin (try explaining that one with a serious look on your face), a slice in my lip (apparently I bite on my 5+ foot journey to the floor), and a small knot on my forehead from the end of the bed.

Reluctant to engage in a visit to the doctor, I spent my week recovering from what I've determined was a case of dehydration (since I'm an MD and all). Out all night Friday, sun all day Saturday, and drinks again Sunday night...who wouldn't be dehydrated, right?

CPR

Ah! The pleasures of cardiopulmonary resuscitation. One comment can probably sum up the outcome of my CPR class this week...

Lord help the innocent bystander that is held subject to my heroic CPR efforts.

I'm certified though! :)

This is Henry...he's my CPR buddy (fyi, he resents the idea that most call him a dummy). Let me tell you a little bit about Henry. He's a 32 year old male (obviously, I don't know many females named Henry), Caucasian (well, a pasty tan color), he enjoys long walks on the beach, romantic comedies, the occasional beating of the chest and a light shock if the occasion calls for it. That's right ladies, he's a keeper!

About the class... The actual certification is part of the my class requirements, so it was nice that they took a night to teach the CPR rather than making us attend another class elsewhere. I have come to the conclusion that they do it for kicks. I would...you should have seen some of the people in there.

We started off as usual, video and simple instructions. Did you know that over 900 adults in the US are killed everyday due to sudden cardiac arrest? That's right, we as individuals could be the deciding factor between life and death. That's awesome! I'm doing CPR on everyone, just for the slight chance that I might actually end up saving someone. So, family and friends beware! If you decide to grab a peaceful afternoon nap and wake up to me and my resuscitator mask hovering over your airways, I would consider yourself warned and move as quickly as possible towards the nearest exit. :)

The class covered adult, child and infant CPR. In addition to those stimulating lessons, we also covered first-aid for choking. You guessed it, the infamous Heimlich. This not being my first lesson, I'm sorry to report that I am lacking a funny story for that one. However, I do have an interesting interjection from the past that I will share.

So there we are, myself and several fellow waitstaff members socializing during some down time. This was when I worked at a local bar/restaurant on the weekends, so we always had a good time joshin' it during the slow lunches. Anywho, a friend of mine was the only one of us that had a table at the time. He had a two-top: man and women (both of which were pushin' eighty) and the man had moseyed in pulling his oxygen tank directly behind him. They were quite the cute couple. Chad had delivered their drinks, and their food came shortly after. As we continued our mindless discussion about whatever interesting event took place the night before, Chad noticed the man at the table slightly coughing and looking a bit scared like he may be choking. To add to the scene, the wife was rapidly tapping him on the back (I'm assuming to add some sort of relief to the situation...still not real sure). Chad's face turns white and looks at me with a "what do I do" look on his face. I of course said, "Don't just stand there, go see if he needs help!" At the time I could see that the man was not fully choking, but he was indeed having some difficultly chewing the abnormally large bites he was taking. Chad, on the other hand, obviously couldn't see the situation during his mission to heroic status. He immediately grabbed the man's shoulders and said in a loud, very stern voice of panic, "Are you ok, sir? Are you choking?"

Side note: One key step we learn in these classes is to wait a few seconds to give the victim a chance to reply.

I think he must have gotten caught up in the excitement of it all, b/c he grabbed the old man from behind, strategically placed his foot on the bar stool across from him (for extra leverage), and began what looked from afar like two foreign creatures preforming some sort of exotic mating ritual...one creature considerably older than the other mind you.

That image will forever be burned into my memory bank. This odd experience continued for, I would say, seven good thrusts before the man could squeeze out a, "Stop! Stop! I'm ok!" About that time, Chad sets the fragile old fella down on his chair, wipes the beads of sweat from his brow and hands the man his oxygen mask. We, as onlookers, casually brought our mouths back from the "holy crap" position they were in and started looking for something productive to do before the couple noticed the audience. Before leaving, I did hear Chad say, "Is there anything else I can get for you?" I can only imagine the look of fear on his face after that experience.

Like most events in our lives, there was a valuable lesson learned here: Always be sure the person you're saving needs help! If they don't, just move really quickly before they can say anything.

Weekend Escapades

I thought I would take this post to talk about the Labor Day weekend I had. I should probably preface with the fact that not every weekend goes the way this one did. Normally, I bask in the idea that I spend at least half the weekend being responsible, but something happened...it must have been all the holiday excitement.

So, how about we start with Friday? The obvious occurred: work and a little bit of play. I did the normal routine of up at 4:15am and off to work, but after work my sisters and I had some big plans for dinner and drinks with an old friend (a previous babysitter actually). We had so much fun catching up with her! I have to throw in that she had a huge impact on our molding process as individuals. Although, I won't say she's completely to blame for the wild women we have become today, but she had a lot to do with it. ;)

So after partying with Kim Friday night, my sisters and I headed out. Not really sure where to go, we defaulted to Wild Bills. (Side note: We have recently decided to change that default) Not enjoying ourselves to the fullest of our ability, we decided to leave after one song, half a beer, and $45 to get in (don't ask what we were thinking, b/c we weren't really). Actually, at the time we thought it was a great idea. A little honesty for you dedicated readers, most of our great ideas are alcohol induced decisions. So there we were, seriously jammin' to some hip hop and headed to the ATL for the remainder of our Friday night. Leslie (our party animal of a sister) just couldn't muscle the 30/45min ride down to the club; she was out cold by the time we finally parked. Without further hesitation, Leslie eagerly insisted that we leave her there to sleep while we went on in. With three hours left to party, Lauren and I had our night cut out for us! What a blast we had too! Lauren, I couldn't have asked for a better night!!

Yay! There we are! This was somewhere between our 6 Red Bulls, the fun girls we met, and T...who was a hottie! :) The picture is a little fuzzy...as was the night!

Friday night turned into Saturday morning real quick as we closed the club and headed back home around 5:00am. No, it doesn't normally take us two hours to get home, but apparently the directions on Lauren's iPhone can be (awkward clearing of the throat) pretty tricky to read. I still love you, Lauren!

I should probably add that there were several promises made prior to our Friday night out. Lauren and I promised (cross my heart and hope to die style) that we would get up and help Leslie paint her house first thing Saturday morning...regardless what time we crawled through the door that night. So we did just that! We were up and ready to paint by 9:00am. Sleep is really overrated, you know?

I can tell you from personal experience that proper ventilation is essential when you're painting. The word vegetable comes to mind. Seriously, I was a mess. 3.5 hours of sleep + 6 hours of paint fumes = some really bad singing coupled with some seriously bad dance moves...in the middle of the day...covered with white paint. An out-of-body experience to say the least, but we got it done!

Just a few of the many high points (pun intended) from our day of painting:

1. A biscuit and some Red Bull.
2. "I've been in the same spot for an hour now...have I painted this crack yet?"
3. Bel Biv DeVoe, Paula Abdul, and our new CD.
4. More Red Bull.
5. "It's club Apple...bring your computer, Matt!"
6. "No, we're in no condition to try and play volleyball with pros!"

I knew we must have been high when Lauren and I decided it would be a good idea to head back out to Atlanta again Saturday night. So, we got ready and made our way down to SHOUT for drinks and some awesome sushi! Mildly comatose from the day and night before, Lauren and I filled up on some much needed nutrition and headed upstairs for some mingling. How much fun did we have?! Good times. Then over to the club for some jookin'. Yes, that is one of my new words from the weekend! Some other interesting things:

• Texting under the influence never ends good.
• Patrón does improve the situation (and often times the company).
• You can pay 1/2 the parking fee if they only give you 1/2 a spot (half meaning that you have to physically crawl over to the passenger side to get out of the car).
• "I wish he would have just taken a pee on my leg, it would have been a lot quicker than that whole territorial thing he was just doing."
• If her hair looks fake, chances are it is..."but you can ask if you want."
• The curb won't give!
• "Lauren, exactly how close am I to that BMW?"

Yeah, so sometime amongst all of those educational experiences, we decided to head to a bar in Buckhead to meet up with some friends. So, north we went! After wrapping it up in Buckhead, Lauren and I were D-town bound. After a quick stop by the Waffle House in Dawsonville (aka D-Vegas), we finally pulled in the driveway about 5:15am. Once again, loving my bed by this point! Needless to say, Sunday was spent sleeping....

ALL DAY!

I think I might have made it out of bed twice for some much needed H2O, but other than that it was sleepy time for the E! Poor Lauren had to drive back to Knoxville, but she seemed pretty ok with it (ah, who am I kidding? I was passed out when she left). She did make it back safely though! Overall, I would have to say we had an amazing weekend! Time with family and friends...it doesn't get much better than that!

Aerodynamics

So, I started thinking last night (which is never a good idea) about some of the experiences I had with one of my old roommates. It's crazy how you forget all the funny times. If you're anything like me, your memory is shot! I have a few specks of memory from significant points in my life, but overall I would classify my memories as lost, vetoed, or even irresponsibly misplaced due to too many parties. Though, I do have one that stands out. One terrifying, life-changing moment that remains a vivid memory...I thought I would share it with you.

My best friend, and roommate at the time, and I were on our way home from one of our many nights out. On our way home at 10:00am in the morning mind you. Yes, driving without any sleep does sound like a bad idea...now. At the time the idea was brilliant. You know, you get that feeling of, "Ok, I'm done being here and I'm ready to go home, get a shower, and be in my bed." So that's what we did. This was a few years ago and I was driving my 2001 MR2 Spyder convertible (very cute car by the way) that only sat approximately a foot off the ground...give or take some space (hey, I'm a female...those statistics are irrelevant to me). Anyway, she and I were jamming out to some overrated hip-hop, as usual, not paying much attention to our surroundings. We decided to take a shortcut to our house rather than staying on 400 the whole way. So there we are, top down and making our way north towards Forsyth County. Our shortcut turned into a not-so-shortcut once we proceeded to get behind a geriatrically driven four door sedan. Paying no mind to the 20mph decrease in speed we continued with our chatting and piercingly bad singing. Then, out of the corner of my eye I see what looks like a groundhog running abnormally fast towards the highway. Living in the country, I see groundhogs all the time. They spend their afternoons grabbing some grub near the highways or observantly perched on their hind legs peaking over the kudzu all attentive to any danger that may arise. So you can understand my surprise when I see one hauling some serious butt towards a highway. My pulse starts to race as the furry, fat-rolled marmot continues it's course towards the road. My thoughts at this point (considerably slower than normal) didn't even reach my mouth; before I could mutter a word the rodent was in full motion and headed straight for the car in front of us. Within seconds the groundhog collided with the back rear tire of the sedan. The car didn't even jerk. The couple probably didn't even realize what had happened, but us on the other hand...we were in trouble. I was immediately informed of my copilot's awareness of the groundhog as she clenches the door handle and the right side of my seat all in one terrifying motion. I, with my hands firmly at 10 and 2, squeezed the wheel and tensed up my entire body. Have you ever seen a groundhog fly? No? Me either until now. The speed from the vehicle and the speed from the groundhog must have amplified the reaction, because the groundhog was instantly propelled into the air. I remember thinking, "There is no way that is a groundhog!" But it was, and it was headed helicopter style towards us. I am not even kidding. All that we could see coming towards us was snout...tail...snout....tail. I didn't even swerve (there was no time). Luckily, given the aerodynamics of the rodent and the limited height of my car, the groundhog flew right over the top of the convertible and into the grass on the opposite side of the highway. I don't know about you, but seeing the underside of a flying groundhog was definitely on my things-to-do-before-I-die list. Needless to say, the lack of sleep and alcohol consumption the night before coupled with our little groundhog incident resulted in an extreme case of the shakes for the both of us. So, I pulled over for a few minutes of recuperation before continuing our journey home.

I thought this might assist with that mental picture!

Up the Creek...

I'm not sure I can even find words to explain the Friday night I had. A learning experience to say the least. There are some things in life you have to go through (several times it seems) in order to come to a realization of...I'M AN IDIOT!!

Believe me, there wouldn't be enough space on my blog to try and explain all of it. Ok, so there is probably enough room, but not near enough self-confidence to share my experience. However, I can say that I have managed to discover several things about myself: 1. I'm not above taking a cab when the circumstances call for it...regardless the company or the cost, 2. I can now say I am a victim of identity theft, and 3. Sometimes I allow my pride to make decisions for me that I would otherwise rethink.

The whole weekend wasn't bad. Saturday was spent in recovery mode and Sunday I helped my sister and her boyfriend renovate a house they will be moving into soon. I have to say, Friday night wasn't really even bad until the clock struck 2:00am. Ah, time is still healing that wound and my pride.

Anywho, let me elaborate on that #2 of discoveries listed above. Words of advice: PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING, regardless the time or how much you may have had to drink. Some things in life are free...identity theft isn't one of them!

You see, it's a funny thing. The ATM prompts for a "would you like to make another transaction" and if you are on the phone, your hands are full, AND you're trying to catch the cab before they leave you, it makes it a little difficult to remember to grab your card. Right? Please say you might have done the same thing if you were me. Plus, I was ALONE...a cute female that is alone in Atlanta during the wee hours of the morning can make any girl rush through an ATM transaction. Not to mention a suspicious guy walked up behind me during this whole deal, so my mind was on getting my money and getting back to the car as quickly as possible. Luckily, I have an awesome bank! Out of the $500 charges that were made, I'm only out about $100.

So, you can see how waking up Saturday morning with a message from the Fraud Department at my bank could only add to the mayhem that already consumed my Friday night. I got through it though. The guy was really nice and even threw in a, "Well at least you weren't driving drunk" comment. There is hope for mankind.

I do have a special thanks to give though. This girl is awesome.

Though her matchmaking skills sometimes don't work out like originally planned, her personality is one of a kind! Seriously, even at 2 in the morning she is still as sweet as can be! I wasn't exactly sure who to call during the whole fiasco, so I called Jessica and she stayed on the phone with me the whole time. That takes some serious commitment...listening to me yap about the crazy night (and yell at my cab driver on several occasions). You're the best, Jess! :)

Adios July!

This is for those of us who can't seem to find time for a social life during the week. Who said Myspace and Facebook weren't cool? I have to admit there are downfalls though. It makes it pretty difficult to come up with an excuse as to why you haven't kept in touch with certain people...not that I would ever do that (awkward cough).

So anywho, it's Thursday again and the last day of July! Am I the only one who feels like this year has taken off and left me squandering in the dust? Seriously, I feel like catching up would require Christmas shopping and plans for the New Year celebrations (which probably isn't a bad idea to start thinking about). Like all things, there is a good side to it. Fall is just around the corner! My favorite time of year and it will be here before we know it! The small town festivals, the amazing weather, the changing of the leaves...it's all so, ahhhhhh, beautiful! I crack myself up sometimes.

Plans for the weekend? Funny you should ask. I was thinking about a trip to Knoxville to visit with the sista for her birthday! Wow! See, too much time on the computer results in random conversations with yourself; posted for everyone to read. Then we call it blogging. ha Sure, sure, hurry and think of something to call it so we all don't look like a bunch of crazies. Too many thoughts to not write them down...yep, I qualify that as a little crazy. The distinguishing factor: are they thoughts or voices? Hmmm. Blog, that's the best they could do? I would have gone with online asylum. I think that has a nice ring to it.

Have I mentioned that I love to laugh?! There are few things better than a good laugh. At someone or with someone, whatever. Just kidding, I keep my laughing with other people to a minimum. ;) Seriously though, I find humor in some of the weirdest things, but it's great! And I am not talking about a small giggle or smirk kind of laugh, I'm talking about a bust out I-almost-wet-my-pants laugh. It always seems to be at the most random times too. The middle of a meeting, church, driving down the road. Yep, I'm that girl. Really off topic, but just thought I would throw that out there.

Speaking of funny, this is too much!

I better get to work. Only one more day until the weekend!! Yay!

Surprise Visit

There were some pleasant changes in the family visit this weekend. Yesterday, to our surprise, in addition to my brother, his wife, and his little girl, my Aunt and cousins (who brought their husband and girlfriend too) showed up to visit. It was so good to see everyone! Talk about a full house. We spent the day out by the pool visiting and catching up on what seemed like forever. Then, we grilled out and enjoyed a feast that mom and dad prepared for us all. You don't realize just how much time has passed until you start rehashing those old memories. We all had a great time and I am so happy that they all had a chance to see Ellie too!

There never seems to be enough time for family. Everyone stays so busy with their own lives; trying to squeeze in a visit or two during those spare weekends. Actually, if we really waited for "spare" weekends we would never see family. I think that goes for everyone though. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and put everything off one more weekend (work and play) and just enjoy the company.

Speaking of work, it's back to work today! Monday is always a bit of a struggle for me...probably for everyone. I get up with all good intentions, "Today is going to be a great day and week!" Then I get to work and realize just how tired I am. It's good though, I'll wake up for Tuesday! :)

I better get to it!

Busy, Busy, Busy...

There has been so much going on this past week that I haven't even had a chance to blog on all the fun! Where should I start? I know I mentioned before that we went to the Corey Smith concert and had a BLAST, but I thought I would add another pic just to reminisce a bit more on all the fun we had.

Needless to say, we were all due for a good time. Time away from drama and work; time with the sisters...and that's just what we got! It's funny how one good night can make you miss spending time with two other people so much. It's good though! It makes me that much more excited about our next adventure together! :)

So that was last weekend. Then on Thursday I had plans with several girls I work with to go watch Kurt Thomas play at The Vinings Inn in Atlanta. We had so much fun! Here is a pic of us with Kurt. We took ton of pics, but I thought this would be cute to share!

Yes, I did have to struggle through work on Friday after going out that night, but it was worth every minute! Now, it's Saturday morning and there's a full week ahead of me too! Lauren and Judson are back in town to celebrate Lauren's 29th birthday! We're due for cake and presents tonight which is always fun! Her birthday really isn't until July 30th, but she couldn't get off work to come home. I am hoping things will work out so that I can spend next weekend celebrating with her in Knoxville!

There's something else I'm super excited about...my brother is coming into town tonight with his wife and daughter!! Jack and his wife will be here until Wednesday and Felicia, his youngest daughter, will be staying with us for two weeks! It's going to be great! The last time I had an opportunity to spend time with them I was going into labor. I don't remember much after being admitted to the hospital, so this visit will be much better I'm sure! :) Well, I better get to cleaning for the company!

Rub-A-Dub-Dub...

Right out of Whoville! Isn't she a doll?! You know you've got it bad when someone could do just about anything and you would still gush about how precious they are. I say that only because it is really out of my element to feel that way. Ok, maybe not to feel that way, but expressing those feelings toward another human being really hasn't ever been my style. I know, I know, I should take more time conveying those feelings to the people I love. Believe me, I am working on it.

Regardless of how cold I may be to others, Ellie just warms my heart right up. Yep, I can feel a little ice breaking off each time I look at those beautiful blue eyes. I guess God does have a plan: beautiful baby....check, happy mother...check, cold heart warmed over...double check!! Just kidding. I really shouldn't be so hard on myself all the time. If the world didn't have people like me we would all me mushy, love-sick puppies wandering around aimlessly. Ok, maybe not that bad, but you get the point. I think it balances out in the end.

Ramble, ramble, ramble...where am I going with this? Hmmm....what is it that I am trying to say? I guess just that we should remember everyone is different. Actions and reactions to events are always going to depend on the individual person. Where one may cry another may laugh; not because they are ruthless, but because they see things from a different perspective. I guess sometimes we could all benefit from a new perspective on things.

Wow, I have successfully taken a post about a cute bath time photo of Ellie and turned it into a lecture...minus two cool points for me! I better get to bed before this gets any worse. :)

She's a brick....

HOUSE!

It begins...Ellie's obsession with shoes. :) She loves playing dress up already. Lauren took this picture one afternoon last week. Man, she'll be grown before I know it; wearing her own stilettos. :( That's ok though, more shoes for me to share. So anywho, 29 days until Lauren's birthday!! 29 days until her 29th birthday! That's exciting! Ah man, it's July 2nd....28 days until her 29th birthday. Really doesn't have the same ring to it does it? That's what happens when I try to blog after a long day at work...my brain is fried!

This week is just creeping by. Only one more day until a long weekend!

July 1st

Look how cute! This picture is from the weekend out by the pool. Yep, we're getting ready for the big holiday weekend. I think I mentioned it before, but we are all going up to visit Lauren in Knoxville this weekend. I could definitely go for some time away. Tennessee isn't as far as I would like to go, but it will do for now. Lauren has lots of fun stuff planned for the weekend...I see great photo ops in my near future! :)

After our chaotic weekend, I find myself more mellow than usual. Maybe it's the delayed recovering process. Recovering from a weekend full of excitement and trying to redirect that energy to another work week. It's just hard to find that much excitement in a work week. I do have the weekend to look forward to and it is a short week! Yay! Then it's back to school for me....blah! That's ok though, I'm thankful I had some time off. I can't believe it is July 1st already! Maybe this quarter will fly by like the rest have.

So here is another cute pic! It would have been much better had Ellie turned to smile too. That's ok though, it really captures her refusal to listen to what I say. I am sure I have years and years of that to look forward to.

I never post all of my cute pictures on here, but I do have tons of pictures on Myspace if you want to check it out...it's always easier to post pics on there.

I better get going, work awaits!

Wednesday

One of my favorite days of the week! Today marking the completion of half my work week. Now I am home free for Thursday and Friday! Definitely celebrating that one. I like my job. Like most people I do not get paid near what I am worth to this establishment, but I think settling has a lot to do with the fact that I wake up in the morning excited about the accomplishments that await me. Yes, needing an income while I complete school plays a huge role, but I enjoy the fact that I am making a difference in the the overall outcome of individual lives. I work in a hospital so yes, I am surrounded by people saving lives on a daily basis; however, MY work is directly related to the emergency/safety side of the hospital.

So, this week I have been writing an evacuation plan for the hospital...exciting, huh? I just finished our Emergency Operations Plan (EOP) and this Evacuation Plan is an Annex to that main EOP. Already on page ten! I'm sure that probably sounds boring to most, but there is more to it than just writing. I think the education and exercising of the plans that comes next is the exciting part. Watching a bunch of employees, visitors and guests run aimlessly as they fear for their lives. Pure chaos breaking loose; all because of me. Just kidding. Those who know me outside of work are probably thinking that sounded about right. Seriously though, it has really started coming together in the last few days. Everybody has a job, responsibilities in an emergency and the thing I love the most about my new plans...accountability. There is nothing worse that having handfuls of people saying, "It's not my fault, that's not my job." Boils my blood just typing those words. Hopefully these plans will eliminate that excuse pretty quickly.

Just a little side bit of info on what I do at work...stimulating isn't it?! :)

The week has been good, my work is going good, and Lauren comes home today! I think that qualifies for a great week (watch, my Thursday and Friday will probably be Hell since I have said all of this). So anywho, I was reading through some fun quotes yesterday and came across a new one:

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

-Albert Einstein

As adults, do we really use our imaginations? I guess that is a big part of being an adult, using logic rather than imagination. I can remember when I was little I would use my imagination all the time...playing outside or even when I was swimming. I would pretend I was Ariel from The Little Mermaid all day long (ok, so maybe that was yesterday). Ah, good times! I see it in Ellie now too, she walks around with her baby doll and mumbles little things while caring so delicately for that little thing. It is so sweet. I guess I still use my imagination when I am scrapbooking or thinking about my future, but I have to say it isn't near the fun it used to be. I shouldn't say that, it is fun to an extent. I always have fun thinking about what could be, it's just a matter of making it reality now that I am an adult. Probably the reason we shy away from it so. :)

Tuesday's Gone...

Oh geez, where do I even begin?! I cannot believe the weekend already ended and I'm on Tuesday again. Where does the time go? Everything has been a bit crazy, as usual, but the good thing is that the next weekend is just around the corner...again. :) I did have a good weekend. Sushi Friday night and a relaxing Saturday and Sunday. Stress-free to say the least. It was nice for a change. I had the opportunity to work on my scrapbook both nights (yes, I'm a wild woman...scrapbooking on Saturday night) and I even finished my James Patterson book! I'm even more excited about starting the next one. What else? I got some great workouts in over the weekend too. Mostly swimming and a nice run. I actually lost 5lbs! That's even more exciting. Weighing in at 140 now! Supa excited about that too!


Ellie and I got to spend the weekend together. She is so freakin precious! I started fiddling with her hair on Saturday and actually got it up into pigtails. Oh my goodness! Are those pics not the cutest pictures ever?! She is such a mess. I'm so very thankful that I have her in my life.

So anyway, Lauren is coming home this week!!! I am so excited! She is coming home tomorrow and staying until Sunday! This will be the longest visit since I went to Knoxville for Christmas. Sure, we get our weekend visits, but this is a whole vacation! I know she is excited too. She always loves coming to see Ellie. Even more now that she has precious pigtails.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I know, I know, no post for three days and that's all you got? I'm such a disappointment. ;)

New Perspectives

So, I'm trying to see things in a new light. It is always better to take a step back sometimes...a breather if you will. As I work towards seeing things in a different light, I'm drawn to this particular photograph. We are all so small in a world so big. Sometimes though, only sometimes, if we position ourselves just right we actually feel like things are in our control. Funny how that works, isn't it?! Things are never really in our control are they? Regardless of what you do there is always a feeling of, "That's the right thing to do" or "Oh no, that's not right at all." I guess that is control though...the decision to do whatever you want whether it is right or wrong. Hmmmm...makes you really rethink things. It makes me question the choices I make sometimes. I guess it is mainly because I am the one having to live with the consequences, but that's just life now isn't it.

I'm so thankful. Thankful for my friends, my family, Ellie and everything in between. I get caught up sometimes in the everyday stresses, but each night I can go to bed truly thankful for the blessings I have in my life. Josh and I had a long history lesson this past weekend. :) We spent the two hour (one way) ride to the mall in traffic talking about the Depression. We also touched base on the events leading up to as well as following the Depression. I never really paid much attention to school history, so talking about it with Josh really made an impact on me. Just little things, like having food on the table and savings in the bank (regardless how small :)) is really something that I feel I take for granted. Do you ever walk into your kitchen and see a bunch of random food and still say, "Gah, there's nothing to eat in this house." Seriously, I'm sure there's something there that may not be quite as convenient as you would like, but it's still eatable. That's what I mean. Just taking things for granted.

Not real sure where I was going with this post. I guess just to say that sometimes things aren't as bad as they seem. :)