Nail Horror

I feel I should start by stating the obvious: Women love gettin' their nails done. Yep, it's just one of those body maintenance things that is (1) relaxing and (2) enjoyable both during and after they're done. In most cases anyway....

Mom and I decided to indulge in a little "me" time yesterday and get our manicures and pedicures together. Mom ended up having to work later than planned, so we ventured to a new nail salon closer to her office. For those of you avid nail maintenance individuals such as myself, you know how timid you can be about testing out a new place...it can be dangerous.

So there we are comfortably relaxing in our nice massage chairs while our feet start soaking...ahhhhh! Then the nail technician approaches and asks, "what color you like?" As I happily reply with a french pedicure, she smiles and begins the hour-long process. Under normal circumstances you can sit back and relax, enjoy the massage and practically fall asleep. Chin (my nail lady) has a misconception about American women I think. It seems she believes pain is a plus during this experience.

My feet hate me right now! They look pretty, sure, but every step after that was a reminder of our ghastly experience. Chin, with her nail tool that strangely resembled a metal toothpick, went to town on my poor toes. After the first one I thought, "Ok, man-up Evelyn! You can do this." Once she finished my right foot I was hesitant to even bring the left out of the water. Seriously, she grabs my leg and says, "You put foot here!" Timidly, I did as I was told. Hey, I was frightened of what might happen if I didn't...she was holding a weapon you know.

I made it through the pick-of-death and on to the scrubber. Those feet scrubbers aren't normally the most enjoyable things, but the problem I usually face (it tickling me to death) was far from the havoc I went through this time. Chin took every bit of anger out on my innocent appendage. I'm talking I have never seen a 90lb Asian woman work a scrubber in such a manner. My relaxing massage turned into pure torture as my body was taut and beginning to sweat (a normal response to pain).

With my fingers clinched around the edge of the armrests and my back as straight as a board, I glanced over to see if my mother was enjoying her pedicure more so than I. I don't think I can even explain the look on her face. Eyes pinched close, legs drawn, and a simple phrase murmured in my direction, "This doesn't feel good." About that time, her nail technician looks up at her and says, "Ok, give me foot. I not hurt you."

Mom relaxes and allows her to continue. Overall, mom was pleased with the remainder of her visit. Her nail tech must have redeemed herself somehow, because Chin felt no need to ease-up on my feet. So I did what any woman in my position would do, I gave one swift kick (ka-tow!!) and back flies the little lady! :) Kidding of course, I sat there like a push-over would and let her mutilate my precious toes.

She finished the pedicure and on to the hands. I questioned whether or not I should request another technician, but at this point I felt that might be rude (and hey, my feet were killing me...why not add my hands to it?). She sat me down at a nail cubicle and really did a great job on my nails. Maybe feet just aren't her thing; I can understand that.

Then the strangest thing happened. Apparently this nail salon concludes your visit with (what most would normally call) a shoulder/back massage. Chin, with her tiny hands and surprisingly thrustful punches, proceeded to...well...I guess massage my back. Have you ever see WCW? Yeah, wrestling. You know, where they jump on the guy laying on the ground, landing with their elbow on the guys stomach....it was kind of like that, but my back.

After three good whiplashes, I held my hand up and said, "Ok, ok, that's good...thank you." Chin, with her hair falling in her face from the crazy energy it must have taken to do whatever it was she did, brushed her hair back and smiled with a, "Tank you! You come back!"

Yes, I paid (and even left a tip) for that whole thing. I can still see her standing at the door of the salon as I'm trying to run (more like limp) to my car. She's still just a wavin'.

**Note to self: Stick with the salons you know!