Friday, August 29, 2008

Aerodynamics

So, I started thinking last night (which is never a good idea) about some of the experiences I had with one of my old roommates. It's crazy how you forget all the funny times. If you're anything like me, your memory is shot! I have a few specks of memory from significant points in my life, but overall I would classify my memories as lost, vetoed, or even irresponsibly misplaced due to too many parties. Though, I do have one that stands out. One terrifying, life-changing moment that remains a vivid memory...I thought I would share it with you.

My best friend, and roommate at the time, and I were on our way home from one of our many nights out. On our way home at 10:00am in the morning mind you. Yes, driving without any sleep does sound like a bad idea...now. At the time the idea was brilliant. You know, you get that feeling of, "Ok, I'm done being here and I'm ready to go home, get a shower, and be in my bed." So that's what we did. This was a few years ago and I was driving my 2001 MR2 Spyder convertible (very cute car by the way) that only sat approximately a foot off the ground...give or take some space (hey, I'm a female...those statistics are irrelevant to me). Anyway, she and I were jamming out to some overrated hip-hop, as usual, not paying much attention to our surroundings. We decided to take a shortcut to our house rather than staying on 400 the whole way. So there we are, top down and making our way north towards Forsyth County. Our shortcut turned into a not-so-shortcut once we proceeded to get behind a geriatrically driven four door sedan. Paying no mind to the 20mph decrease in speed we continued with our chatting and piercingly bad singing. Then, out of the corner of my eye I see what looks like a groundhog running abnormally fast towards the highway. Living in the country, I see groundhogs all the time. They spend their afternoons grabbing some grub near the highways or observantly perched on their hind legs peaking over the kudzu all attentive to any danger that may arise. So you can understand my surprise when I see one hauling some serious butt towards a highway. My pulse starts to race as the furry, fat-rolled marmot continues it's course towards the road. My thoughts at this point (considerably slower than normal) didn't even reach my mouth; before I could mutter a word the rodent was in full motion and headed straight for the car in front of us. Within seconds the groundhog collided with the back rear tire of the sedan. The car didn't even jerk. The couple probably didn't even realize what had happened, but us on the other hand...we were in trouble. I was immediately informed of my copilot's awareness of the groundhog as she clenches the door handle and the right side of my seat all in one terrifying motion. I, with my hands firmly at 10 and 2, squeezed the wheel and tensed up my entire body. Have you ever seen a groundhog fly? No? Me either until now. The speed from the vehicle and the speed from the groundhog must have amplified the reaction, because the groundhog was instantly propelled into the air. I remember thinking, "There is no way that is a groundhog!" But it was, and it was headed helicopter style towards us. I am not even kidding. All that we could see coming towards us was snout...tail...snout....tail. I didn't even swerve (there was no time). Luckily, given the aerodynamics of the rodent and the limited height of my car, the groundhog flew right over the top of the convertible and into the grass on the opposite side of the highway. I don't know about you, but seeing the underside of a flying groundhog was definitely on my things-to-do-before-I-die list. Needless to say, the lack of sleep and alcohol consumption the night before coupled with our little groundhog incident resulted in an extreme case of the shakes for the both of us. So, I pulled over for a few minutes of recuperation before continuing our journey home.


I thought this might assist with that mental picture!

1 comment:

Beth said...

Oh my gosh! I don't think I have laughed that hard in a long time. I love the vivid details. Thank you, I really did need the laugh.